omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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