I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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