She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
