i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
