New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize