Already got asked if we're dating
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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