She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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