You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
