I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
