I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize