she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
