That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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