We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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