ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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