apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
