she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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