She announced her abortion via fbk
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
