Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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