i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
