btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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