I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
