I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You need a sexual gate keeper
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
