You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
