please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
