They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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