listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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