I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
