Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
