This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
