what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
