Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize