i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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