We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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