Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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