There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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