bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
that is very illegal...i love you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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