im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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