I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
