Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
