Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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