VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
