Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
