I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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