just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize