Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
