I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
