I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Last time i carry you out of a forest
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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