I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
