I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just puked most of my soul out..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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