I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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