I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
