Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Come on in and take your pants off
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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