So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
