Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
