even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
