And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
