dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize