So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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