he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
