It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize