Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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