pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
