Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
