come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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